Wednesday, October 31, 2018

selfish coward loser

Homily
Solemnity of All Saints
1 November 2018
St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center at the University of Kansas
Daily Readings
Video

I have a sticky note on the mirror of my bathroom.  Two actually.  The first has three words - selfish coward loser.  The second is more positive.  Also three words - play to win.

The first sticky note more truly describes my life.  I wish it didn't.  But it does.  Last Sunday was priesthood Sunday, and I received from those who prayed for me in the adoration chapel at the sisters a series of notes.  The notes were awesome.  My preferred love language is words of affirmation. I love atta-boys!  So the words were super meaningful and appreciated . . and sincere.

Yet I was struck more by what the students who prayed for me didn't say.

The notes said thanks for being here.  Thanks for your preaching. Thanks for your faithfulness and sacrificial service.  And it's true . . I'm not a total schmuck . . at least I hope not.  There is a lot of goodness to my life and priesthood and I am grateful for everything that was written that is true.

But none of the notes said what I most wanted to hear . . and want I want my life most to say and mean.  None of the notes said . . thank you for showing me how to become a saint. Thank you for challenging me to be a saint.

So I have work to do.  I bet you do too.  The first sticky note on my bathroom mirror is more true than the second . . and I can admit that without hating myself or being ungrateful.  I am more of a selfish cowardly loser than one who plays to win.  I'm not the saint I was created to be.

When I became a priest I promised I would not quit until I became like my hero John Paul II.  But I lied. I've never meant to lie, but I have . . lied to myself and to God.  I've quit.  I've gotten scared.  And I've settled.  I've said too often that good enough is good enough, rather than staying true to my original dream - sainthood or nothing!  To be a hero - and saints are heroes - those who have demonstrated heroic virtue - you have to dare greatness, live a life of real consequence, engage the obstacles in your way, trust a guide, devise a plan . . and execute the plan!  Too often I've run away from conflict and been my own guide . . and settled.  And guess what . . it didn't work.  I'm not a saint . . in case you haven't noticed.

I'm not a saint . . .yet . . but now is no time to give up.  Definitely not on All Saints Day!

Halloween is great . . we get to dress up to be outwardly somebody or something we are not. Yet Halloween - All Hallow's Eve, - the night before All Saints Day - is but the precursor and vigil, to the greater celebration that follows - the opportunity to become fully human and fully alive, to become a saint!  Which is nothing less than to perfectly fulfill our destiny to grow into the perfect image and likeness of God.  Halloween is great . . but the Solemnity of All Saints is far greater . . if we dare to celebrate this outstanding feast.

The pivotal question for this week is . . what do you want more than anything in the world?  I asked this in RCIA on Tuesday, and the answers were awesome.  I want to be happy.  I want to become fully myself.  And two people wanted dogs.  So be it - man's best friend.

I repeated to the class what was on the second sticky note on my bathroom mirror - I want to play to win.  What's your answer?  What do you want more than anything in the world?

Here's a second question.  What is the most urgent and necessary thing in the world right now?  I'm going to answer it for you .. sorry!  Here's the answer . . It is for you to become a saint.  That is the most necessary and urgent thing in the world right now . . and it depends upon you.

Nobody wrote that I have dared them to become a saint. . . and for this I am sad and truly sorry.  ter.  But what about you?  For just as all the saints before us have opened up for us new and real pathways to become the saints of this generation, so with their great example and irresistible intercession for you comes the great responsibility for you to become fully human and fully alive and fully who you were created the be - the next Catholic saint. 

Once again, and always in Catholicism,  we rise and fall together, and once again we have come today to claim our common destiny, which is this - that when you embrace your call to holiness dare to walk the path that leads to real happiness, you open up a path for the person next to you.  And when you settle for being a selfish cowardly loser, you LET THE WHOLE TEAM DOWN!

Don't let the whole team down.  If I dare to enter back into the full adventure of my life, and to play to win in this Mass, will you join me?  Will you pray for me to dare greatness as I pray the same for you?

All the dreams that I have for the St. Lawrence Center - that the Lord may guide the next generation of great stories that the world so desperately needs  - that the most urgent and necessary thing might be accomplished right here right now on this holy hill, through our core values of embracing our true destiny, living in deep communion with each other, daring to stand out, and not quitting or settling until we are fully alive . . all my dreams depend on your response to the call to holiness that goes out to the whole Church today.

90% of our peers will stay away from Mass today.  Why?  I dare say it is because they have never met a saint.

Will you be the first saint that they meet?