Sunday, December 29, 2013

family over everything

Homily
Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph
29 December 2013
Christ the King Parish Topeka
Daily Readings


Families are changing. They're changing fast.  Divorce and remarriage.  Reproductive technologies.  50% of children born out of wedlock.  Smaller families.  Same-sex marriage.  The delaying and foregoing of marriage.  Fewer young people going to Church and preparing hearts, minds and bodies for the sacrament of marriage.  I don't list these factors to rant or to judge.  Only to mark how quickly the family is changing.  Most likely, several of these factors have already changed your family.  There are new and emerging definitions of family life, and there is no going back.  There was a time when every family was expected to conform to the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph that we celebrate today.  For many, that day is long past. Family is being defined as much today by innovation rather than tradition.

Yet we need family more than ever.  That never changes.  There is a lack of love in our world, and specifically the intense and unique and life-giving love that is at its best within families.  We can't live without families. We know that.  Our attempts to redefine what family means shows that no one is willing to give up on family.  Blood is thicker than water, and the shedding of Jesus' blood is the sign that he loves families, and wants his body the Church, to be a family, real brothers and sisters to each other.  So this homily is not at all about disparaging the emerging definition of the family, nor judging any family or any person whatsoever.  Jesus is mercy, and woe to us if we are not merciful in imitation of him, loving each other beginning at our weakest points. The Church is not in the business of judging families.  But woe to us as well if we shy away from holding up the example of the holy family as a family that can inspire and change every family for the better, no matter what their situation.  In promoting the holy family as a model, we are not trying to go backward, but to bring the beauty and depth of the Catholic experience, teaching and tradition, to bear on the modern family.

Again, there is no room in this homily, nor in any of our hearts, to disparage or judge any person or family whatsoever.  Jesus, of course, was not afraid to enter into the reality of the human condition, including our messy families.  He loves us and visits us exactly where we are.  He himself was conceived in potential scandal, and born out in a barn, and was in danger and on the move.  Jesus was not born in a palace in conservative security.  His birth didn't follow an ideal script.  In this beautiful Christmas season when families come together as closely as possible, and give to each other, we must allow Christ, the reason for Christmas, and the one who entered into family life himself, to visit our families.  What an gorgeous and important Feast this is for us to contemplate and celebrate in this magnificent Christmas season, the Feast of the Holy Family.

In celebrating and promoting the holy family in such an intense and beautiful way today, we do not judge or compare families, but say something true that to fail to learn from the holy family is to give up on our own families.  For the concept of a family has to begin somewhere.  We can't make up the concept of family or pull it out of the air, and if the word family can mean anything, then eventually it will mean nothing. That is a risk we can never afford to take, that the word family would mean nothing. For the sake of our own well being, and that of our families, and for the Church and the world, we need our families to be stronger and stronger, and we need to draw inspiration from the holy family.  We cannot live without family, and human persons will not flourish without strong family life.  As goes the family, the basic building block of society, so goes the dignity of the human person, the fate of the Church, and the destiny of the world's peoples. The example of the holy family is something we fail to celebrate, then, at our own peril.

Starting with Joseph, then, we must celebrate that unlike Herod, who was a baby killer, killing even his own sons out of fear and suspicion, Joseph was a family defender.  Our culture is in desperate need of more men like St. Joseph.  In imitation of Christ, who shed his blood out of his love for his bride, the Church, and her children, so also the best that exists in every man is his ability to make others holy by the way he sacrifices for them.  Most men today are unprepared and lack the desire for such a mission.  As women have become more accomplished in society, men have not risen to to the challenge, but have shirked from it, and we have let our boys do this.  Trust me, I recruited seminarians for six years looking for men like St. Joseph, and they were hard to find, and when I did find one, the ladies who wanted to marry the same guy were not happy.  We need more men who in obedience to a mission greater than themselves, desire to be holy husbands and fathers.  This is not sexist.  Even on the most liberal of college campuses, where women are outperforming men and its not even close, still almost 100% of women desire think it is a guy's role to propose marriage, and to take initiative and leadership in the family.  I submit that we have a culture that allows the killing of its own babies, because we have too many men who like Herod are afraid of babies and family, and who fail to defend, and who shirk from their true vocation.

In the interest of time, the ladies will get a pass today. But that's ok, because the ladies will get a full homily all to themselves this week as we gather on the Holy Day of Obligation to celebrate the motherhood of Mary. Suffice it to say that you women as a hundred times more important than the guys.  God saved his best creation for last, and it was his plan to remake our world beginning with the yes of a woman, our blessed Mother.  Short sermon for you today, ladies . . but stay tuned.  See you this week.

Finally to children, who we hear in the scriptures are not to be spoiled brats, but are to be obedient to their parents.  We live in a culture that is way too afraid of children, where children are seen too much as an intrusion into the freedom of adults and a drain on finances, when in reality every healthy culture focuses not on adults, but on children, and every healthy economy sees children as its greatest resource!  Societies that have stopped having children, and there are many from China to Europe and beyond, are doomed economically and socially.

Although the holy family only had one child because of the perpetual virginity of Mary, still they are an example of sacrifice and generosity in having children.  Joseph and Mary were less focused on what fit into their plans, but were open to God telling them that there is a child he knows and loves and desires that is wanting to be born.  So perhaps especially if children come in a way that we cannot control, like Jesus coming into the holy family, and having children entails the risk of submitting ourselves to a plan much different and bigger than we would choose for ourselves, like the holy family, perhaps especially then we are not to be afraid of having more children. Mind you, I'm not promoting irresponsibility here, only generosity and sacrifice in imitation of the holy family.  There are prudent reasons for having children and not having children.  Yet oftentimes the families with the most resources financially and emotionally and spiritually are having the fewest children, and we as a culture are too afraid of children.  We do ask too much how children affect us, rather than asking whether there is a child that God desires to bring into the world through us.  The question faced by the holy family is always the most important one.  With all sympathy to those working through the terrible pain and disappointment of not being able to have their own children, and with deep respect and appreciation for those parents making heroic sacrifices to raise the children they already have, sacrifices that as a priest I will never personally make, still I want to say that the example of the holy family should inspire us all to be more generous and sacrificial in welcoming children into our world.  It is a fact that very few people regret having more children.  I promise never to complain about a noisy church filled with children - I'm smart enough to know that's good for business!   Christmas especially is a time to focus on children, and woe to us and to our families if we focus on ourselves instead.

A final time, lest anyone get me wrong, this homily is not about judging any person or any family. Woe to me if I would do that.  There is way too much judgement in the world, and not enough love. Yet in holding up the example of the holy family, we are doing just that, trying to bring more love into the world, and especially the special and unique love that can only be experienced in our families.  If we fail to celebrate and defend and promote the values of the holy family, we are literally killing ourselves and our children.  There is no way around it.

I'm not saying that we have to go backwards to the way families used to be, or that family life will ever be the same. I'm not even saying it should be.  I'm saying that every human family, and especially the real ones to which you and I belong, the imperfect and messy ones, can strive to be a holy family, by seeking the will of God, by being capable of sacrifice, and by being unafraid to give themselves to a mission beyond their control or imagination.  The example of the Holy Family is less a measuring stick, and more of an inspiration.  In this holy season of Christmas, we must allow Jesus who loves our families, and wants to be at the center of our families, to visit our families in a powerful way.  Amen.






1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great message! We are blessed to have a priest like you who isn't afraid to preach the truth!
Also-thanks for speaking last night at adoration!