For daily readings, see http://www.usccb.org/nab/120308.shtml
Some of us are more lame than others (I mean in the physically challenged way, not those of you who lack a healthy sense of humor), while some of you are tremendously gifted athletically. Some of us are more blind than others (I was 20/180 before my Lasik surgery, and still do not see very well) while some of you see 20/20 or better. Some of us are more deformed than others, although there are a few of you with the unblemished good looks of models. Some of us are more mute than others, although there are some of you who could give a homily and say Mass much more eloquently than I ever could.
Some of us get hungrier than others, although there is not a person out there today who never needs food. Jesus in revealing his compassion begins by healing those with rare bodily deformities, then moves in pity to address a need that everyone in the crowd has - a need for food. Then, as we know from the latter pages of the Gospel story, Jesus will direct his compassion to the most debilitating disease affecting human nature, a disease that damages the human soul in ways that blindness, muteness or hunger never can, the disease of sin.
Jesus reveals Himself through the miracle of the loaves and fish to be the Savior of everyone, for presumably everyone in the crowd was hungry, for they had been with Him three days with nothing to eat. How many of us have begun Advent with three days of fasting, so that we limped into Mass tonight almost ready to collapse? That's right - I didn't think so! The miracle of the loaves and fish shows how everyone in the crowd was dependent upon Jesus for healing, not just the lame, the blind, the deformed and the mute who were the first to be healed by Jesus.
I don't get mad at myself for needing contacts to correct my vision. I don't get mad at myself for needing chapstick to soothe my lips during the winter. I don't get mad at myself for needing a slice of one of Sr. Loredana's pies in order to satisfy my sweet tooth. I do get mad at myself, however, when I have to depend on Jesus for forgiveness. Why do I get so angry and disappointed at myself? Because I am often too proud to embrace my identity as a sinner, as one completely dependent upon a Savior to defeat an enemy that has already defeated me. I would oftentimes rather be independent, and all-powerful and the equal of Christ rather than having to beg for the food of forgiveness because my soul is empty and my spirit is ready to collapse.
Hating our sins perfectly is one thing. Hating ourselves because we are sinners in need of God's mercy is another thing; in fact, hating ourselves is the surest way to isolate ourselves and to cut off the one relationship that restores life in abundance. Entering into a conversation with Jesus about how we can both hate our sins more perfectly while at the same time depending more deeply on His life-giving mercy will lead us no longer to isolation, but to communion with the One who spreads before us a feast of juicy, rich food and pure, choice wines that is the sure remedy for the deepest spiritual hungers of the human heart. Come, Lord Jesus! +m
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