Homily
Thursday of the 1st Week of Lent
10 March 2022
St. Lawrence Catholic Center at the University of Kansas
AMDG
Am I desperate?
The right answer is yes. Yet I hate this right answer as much as any. I admit it with the greatest resignation. Everything in me wants to be hard, not soft. I rail against needing anything. I hate asking for help. I am driven to be the first human not to need anything at all.
You might say my one prayer is not to be desperate!
Jesus addresses my fear of being in need. He simply tells his disciples to ask. Ask early and often. Ask boldly. Ask for the impossible. Ask for whatever you want.
The paradox laid bare by Him is that desire disguises itself as desperation. To live the lie of self-sufficiency I have to kill a lot of desire. That's why I can only be secure through desperation, for it is only in desperation that I know what I want.
Am I desperate?
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