who loves you unconditionally?

Homily

6th Sunday of Easter B

St. Lawrence Catholic Center at the University of Kansas

+mj

Who loves me unconditionally?

Just my mom, I think.  I miss her more than I let on. 

It's in the DNA of moms of love unconditionally.  Moms aren't perfect, yet they're setup to fulfill what Jesus says about the greatest love. It's to lay down one's life.  Moms are wired to give everything.  My mom would die for me in a second.  I know because she did in so many ways.  Again, not all moms are perfect, but it's in the definition of motherhood to give life.  I don't expect anyone to love me as unconditionally as my mom did.

This capacity of my mom is grounded in God Himself, or so the scriptures propose to us.  Being love itself, God has no need to receive our love.  He can be pure grace, pure gift to us.  St. John puts it right.  Only God can initiate unconditional love.  In this is love, not that we love God, but that He loves us, totally through the gift of only begotten.  Jesus says the same.  You don't choose me.  I choose you.  My mom needed to receive love before She could give it.  Unconditional love must start with God Himself.  We can only respond to the commandment, to love others just as He first loved us.

Still, unconditional love doesn't make a friendship.  Did you catch that?  Friendship is conditional, very much and quite so.  Jesus is friends with His Father because He keeps the rules of the relationship.  Jesus says we are His friends not through unconditional love, but only as we keep His commandemnts.

Mind you, this is not a slave/master relationship.  Jesus is clear.  Master's don't give everything first, without condition.  Still, unconditional love cannot make a friendship.  Only conditional love does that.  There is no relationship without rules.

If I have taken my mom's love for granted or hoarded it, I am not her friend.  Jesus talks about the conditions not for receiving but for remaining, abiding, and bearing fruit.  Every gift given, especially unconditional love, requires a response.  Friendship is a responsibility.

So which is better, unconditional or conditional love?  It's hard to say atually.  It's hard to see unconditional love wasted. Which is why I would like to add a second pivotal question.  It's not just about who loves you unconditionally.  It's about your response in friendship. Love only bears fruit that will last, if you remain and abide.  Only if you truly become a friend.