who do you trust?

Homily

4th Sunday in Ordinary Time BI

St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center at the University of Kansas

31 January 2021

AMDG +JMJ +m

Who do I trust?

One thing is for sure.  Only fools trust themselves.  Scripture could not be more clear.  There are too many things I can't know about myself, too many things I can't see nor can I fix.  To learn, to grow, and to lay hold of the gift of my life, I have to trust in someone else.

But who do I trust?

Before I venture an answer, I want to lay the conditions for trusting another.

First of all, they have to be able to see me, and to know things about me I can't know about myself.  My eyes point outward, and even with mirrors there's so much I can't see.  I am a blind spot to myself, in so many ways.  Is there someone else who can see and know me.

Secondly, trust is born in love.  Is there someone who desires my good for my own sake.  Is there someone who won't manipulate or use me, and love me more than I can love myself?

Finally, is there someone who can say something to me that will make a difference?  Is there someone who can tell me something I don't already know and could never discover?

That's it.  If you don't have someone who can see you, know you, love you, and speak something new to you, there's no reason to trust.

Yet even then, even if there is somebody, I won't trust unless I want to change.  If I am comfortable in my distraction and division, I'll just go with what I know.  St. Paul speaking 2000 years ago, long before smart phone notifications and the 24 hour fake news cycle, describes life as one big distraction!  Can I get an Amen to that?

So also with division.  What have you do to with us, Jesus of Nazareth. I know who you are!  Who is us?  There's one man talking, right?  Is it me or we?  The man is scattered, confused, divided, and so am I.  Jesus can speak a new word that makes a difference, one that heals division.

What is this?  A new teaching, with authority. It's something I have never heard before, a voice of wisdom, love and authority.  Yet do I even want to trust this voice?

I'm blessed with a spiritual director who is the voice of Jesus for me.  I obey him, not because I have to, but because I trust him.  I trust that he sees me, knows me, loves me and can say something new to me that makes a difference.  When I excuse and rationalize my distraction and division, he speaks with authority.  What the hell are you thinking?  How can you be so stupid?

If I want to change, to learn, to grow and to lay hold of the gift of my life, I have to trust someone other than myself.  Trust is not easy, but it's necessary.

Do you even want to trust?  If so, who do you trust?