Jesus doesn't say 'Sorry Mom and Dad!'

Homily for the Feast of the Holy Family
27 December 2009
St. Frances Cabrini Church, Hoxie
Year for Priests

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Today’s Gospel for the Feast of the Holy Family is a scriptural amber alert. Jesus is lost, for four days, and his parents are anxiously searching for him. It seems obvious that what we have here is a transgression of the fourth commandment by the 12 year old Jesus. Being obedient to your parents means treating them with respect and being responsible enough to let them know where you are so they do not worry about you. So when Mary and Joseph finally catch up to Jesus after navigating the chaos of Jerusalem for three days, they let Jesus have it. Rightfully so, or so we would think. Even as they are overjoyed at finding him, they do not fail to let him know that he has caused them a lot of anxiety. So we would naturally expect Jesus to say ‘I’m sorry. Mom, Dad – I should have let you know where I was going to be so you didn’t worry. I’ll never do that again.’ But this is not what we hear from Jesus. Nothing even close to an apology. In fact, not only does Jesus not apologize for being disobedient, not only does he not confess to breaking the fourth commandment, but he also uses the occasion to teach his parents and to point out their lack of faith. Jesus has the audacity to point out the sin of his own parents, by pointing out to them that they should have found him sooner. ‘Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?’ It is almost as if Jesus, upon learning that his parents have been anxious, chastises them for their lack of faith, and suggests that perhaps they should have stayed behind like he did.

Well, this can happen in life. Sometimes kids can teach parents. Sometimes parents have to learn from kids. Sometimes kids make parents better parents. Sometimes kids can be the vehicle God uses to remind everyone of what’s really important. I’m afraid that if the world didn’t have kids, we would have to invent them. Kids make the Christmas season more real and exciting. They help all of us to see the Christmas mystery through new eyes when our own eyes grow tired and cynical. So even when we get tired of all the attention kids need, and all the thousands of times they need to be corrected and directed, the truth is that kids draw out the very best from us when we tend to get self-absorbed. Jesus in today’s Gospel, even while exasperating his parents, is drawing out the very best in them, especially when he points out their lack of faith.

Pope Benedict points out that to know Jesus is to know Him as the one who always talks to God the Father face to face, as with a friend. We see the intimate conversation between the Father and the Son taking place in the Father’s house, the temple, where Jesus remains after the feast of Passover. Those who know the Father only secondarily through the law and prophets are astounded that Jesus knows Him so intimately, as if He is speaking to the Father face to face, as with a friend. Because of this ongoing conversation, Jesus knows and does the Father’s will better than anyone else, even from a young age.

In doing the Father’s will, Jesus is truly the son of Mary and Joseph, who have also done the Father’s will perfectly. Mary does not speak to God the Father face to face as with a friend, but her fullness of grace made her perfectly ready to respond should the Father’s will be made known to her, as it was by the angel Gabriel. Even after giving birth to Jesus, this readiness to do the will of God remained in Mary, and she follows this will as best as she could understand it until her heart is pierced at the foot of the cross.

In the scriptures chosen for this Feast of the Holy Family, particular attention is given to the role of the husband in a holy family. So on this day we rightly turn our thoughts and our affection to St. Joseph, who even though he does not speak to the Father face to face like his adopted son Jesus, nor does he have the fullness of grace possessed by his wife Mary, still does the will of the Father perfectly. Joseph, we might assume, had even less understanding of what was happening to his life. He received instructions not face to face, nor through an angel, but only remotely through his dreams, and yet he did not take any of the available exit ramps, but fulfilled the Father’s will as he understood it, protecting and providing for his wife and child so that they may both fulfill the mission the Father had given them.

We see in Jesus, Mary and Joseph a family that is truly holy in its desire to do the will of God. Jesus plays the role of encouraging his foster father and his mother to continue to seek this will of the Father above all things. Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house? This question of Jesus encourages us as families to go to Church together as much as we can, so that we are encouraging each other as families to seek and to do the will of God together. Pope Benedict points out repeatedly that the family is God’s chosen instrument. It is the school of faith and love where we learn how to be generous. The family is that intermediate institution between the individual and society. Good families guarantee that society is not just a close proximity of individuals all seeking their own interest, but is truly a communion of love between persons who all seek the common good. You cannot have a good society without families wherein parents teach children and children teach parents how to be generous. The vocation of man is to love, and the family remains today, despite being attacked from many sides, the place chosen by God where that vocation is deepened and most perfectly realized. +m