Everything is relationship??

Sometimes the weekend homily sets up pretty nicely. About the same time I was thinking about what to say this weekend, I saw a highlight of this Philadelphia Phillies fan Steve Montforto and his three year old daughter Emily. Jesus ends this Sunday's Gospel by placing a child in the midst of his disciples in order to teach them how to not become enslaved by their own selfish ambition. In the same way, this little girl Emily, who appeared on ESPN and every other highlight show these last few days, melted the hearts of all those who saw her and her dad. It was just a five second clip, and this girl and her dad reminded us of all we need to know. They taught us perfectly what is so easy to forget, and what Jesus is trying to remind us this Sunday . . . that everything is relationship.

Jesus was teaching his disciples privately about how he intended to enter into an even deeper relationship with all people, even those who did not yet know him, by letting himself be handed over to sinners, and by shedding his blood on the cross, a blood that he desired to share so that all might become his brothers and sisters. It was not enough for Jesus to establish a teaching relationship with his disciples; no, he wished to establish a deeper relationship, by becoming completely vulnerable and dependent upon them, as a child is completely dependent. He wanted a relationship not of master and slave, but one of interdependence, a relationship of true friendship, a relationship that began with his decision to empty himself completely of his power and to become as vulnerable as a child, not only at Bethlehem, but even at Calvary. Jesus is trying to explain to his disciples how he had a mission to enter more deeply into relationship with all mankind, but the disciples could not understand, because they were thinking of something else. They were thinking about how their relationship with Jesus distinguished them from others who were not so close to him, about how their power was growing because they were with Jesus, and even within their small cadre, who was the greatest. Jesus brought in a child to try to save them from their selfish ambition.

Our lives are made of tens of millions of feelings. Yet our feelings do not define who we are. Our lives are made of tens of millions of actions, yet our actions do not define who we are. A young child, such as the one Jesus placed in the midst of the disciples, is a bundle of undifferentiated feelings and actions, and a child's actions are not the product of intense self-reflection. A child receives his identity by who the child is related to. Jesus reminds his disciples by placing a child in their midst that one's real significance and security come not from achievement or power or distinction or independence, but from relationship. A child has not had time to separate or distinguish himself from his fellow man; he is significant because there are people who love him, and will give their lives to ensure that he will have everything is good. A child is significant not because of his independence, but precisely because of who he is dependent on. A child is significant because of who loves him, because of his relationships. And so it must be with the disciples of Jesus.

Many of your peers at KU shy away from religion because they choose to see within Christians a certain self-righteousness. Rightfully or wrongfully, they see in the disciples of Jesus a desire to be holy for the sake of being holy, and for the sake of separating yourselves from those who are unholy. Well, there is nothing wrong with desiring to be holy, but Jesus asks his disciples to purify their intentions for desiring holiness; it is not to separate themselves, but to put themselves in deeper relationship with God and with all of humanity, in imitation of him who came not to be served, but to serve, as to give his life so that he could be in deep relationship with all of mankind.

Cardinal George, in speaking to the seminarians at Mundelein seminary in Chicago last week, where I was able to be with our KCK seminarians, seemed to say that it is a cruel thing that we do in today's culture, challenging everyone to find their true identity first, individually, and then to enter into relationship second. Cardinal George says this is such a cruel thing we ask people to do - to find their identity in isolation, based on individual feelings, and then to base our relationships on that isolated sense of self. He was saying that in a relativistic narrative, everyone has a responsibility to discover deep within who they really are, based on their desires, and then must build community around these desires and then a circle of influence. Maybe I'm paraphrasing him badly, but this is what I took from what he said. Cardinal George reminded the seminarians that beginning with the moment we are born, everything is relationship. We are who we are related to. It is imperative that we keep this lens on, that we are not defined by our feelings or our circumstances or our actions, at least not totally, but that each of these things serve to either enhance or detract from our relationship with God and with one another. Human beings are relational. Our ultimate vocation is to love. Nothing more. Nothing less. If this is true, then everything must be relationship, and relationship can never be subjugated to personal identity, nor personal identity formed in isolation from relationship. This is true whether you are a devout Catholic or committed agnostic.

Well, maybe this is reading a lot into what Jesus was trying to say. I'm probably guilty of quite a bit of isogesis this week. But the point is there for you to consider anyway. Cardinal George ended his talk by saying this, to always remember that Jesus Christ came so that we could be more deeply related, through Him, to one another. He made it more possible for us to love one another. This is the great treasure that is the Christian faith. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Oh yeah, about that three year old girl Emily and her dad Steve. Well, the 5 second video clip goes like this. Steve has had season tickets for the Phillies for years and years. He has never caught a foul ball. It was his lifetime dream to catch a foul ball. He probably loves baseball as much as anybody. He looked like a diehard fan. He maybe even cried when the Phillies won the World Series last year. Anyhow, Steve makes an amazing catch over the railing in the upper deck. His first foul ball. Maybe his last. After a quick fist bump to some fans around him, Steve gives the ball to his three year old daughter Emily, who instinctively and immediately chuck the ball right over the railing into the lower deck. Steve's foul ball is lost . . . the glory of his miracle catch, a catch he had hoped for for years and years, a ball he could show his family and friends for years and years with pride - all of this lasts less than 5 seconds. And what does Steve do? Does he worry about the ball at all? No! He grabs his daughter, lest she think she had done something wrong, and gave her the most beautiful embrace anyone could imagine. A picture is worth a thousand words. It doesn't matter who Steve is - whether he is a mechanic or investment banker or unemployed, or how big his house is or what country club he belongs to . . . in 5 seconds we know about Steve all that we need to know - he knows the simple truth of what Jesus speaks . .. everything is relationship! +m