Hope springs eternal. That is why even a long-suffering Royals fan like myself gets pretty juiced for Opening Day at the K. I usually go out to Opening Day with good friends who treat Opening Day like St. Patrick's day, and who look for dispensations from me, their priest friend, so that they can drink beer, and if it's a Friday, eat meat right during the middle of Lent. My first year as a priest, I was a pushover, but now I'm getting tougher. I usually tell my friends now to do what they are going to do and to find another priest to hear their confession. But I digress. I love opening day. Even though there is plenty of evidence to the contrary, I always think and feel that maybe this will be the Royals' miraculous year. Maybe the past won't matter. Maybe the losing won't carry over. Maybe the Royals will play great. I am going to miss being at the K this year, for Opening Day falls on Good Friday. Guess when they throw out the first pitch? That's right - 3pm, the hour of the Lord's death. Needless to say I won't be at the K. At least the game is against the Yankees, so the game will be a true confrontation between good and evil. May the good guys win!
Opening Day. New Year's Day. The first day of a new semester. The first day in a new car. The first day at a new job. A first date. We like new things. We like to think that a change of circumstances will make all the difference. Ash Wednesday is a great example. A chance to tighten our belts. Show more discipline. Fight against sins that have gotten the better of us. Be more chaste. Pray more. Simplify. Be more generous. Move in a different direction. Don't give up the dream of being holy. All because Ash Wednesday is here.
Ash Wednesday is a special gift to us. Rather than focusing on having a better year, Ash Wednesday focuses us on whether we are ready to die. It focuses us on whether we have given our lives to something that will last forever. Since we are only dust, completely unnecessary, have we joined our lives to something that is necessary and eternal?
Jesus shows Himself in today's Gospel not to be a Savior of temporary solutions. What is wrong with the paralytic? Straightforwardly, everyone would say that he is paralyzed. That is what is wrong with him. Obviously. Yet this is not obvious to Jesus. What is obvious to Jesus is not the paralysis at all, but that this man needs his sins forgiven. Is this insensitive, to ignore years of suffering from paralysis? The man is unable to move, for heaven's sake! Can we really believe that Jesus thinks it more expedient to forgive this man's sins, and only heal his paralysis as an afterthought, in order to make a point? It is the apparent misplacement of Jesus' compassion in this story that points us once again toward his true identity. Jesus is not a Savior of temporary solutions.
Jesus reveals Himself as the one who has come to take away the sins of the world. In doing this, Jesus is here to heal the world, and each one of us, from the only thing that can permanently separate us from God. Our sins, our decisions to trust in ourselves and to choose what is optional and temporary over what is necessary and eternal, are the things that make our turning back into dust the end of the story. External circumstances that befall us do not cost us our relationship with God. Our sins do. They lead to spiritual death, and turn us into creatures who are already dust, long before we die that final physical death. No wonder Jesus is able to overlook paralysis of the limbs. We are talking about spiritual death here! Jesus came to save us from this circumstance, and this circumstance alone.
Imagine a Lent when you went to confession everyday. Now I'm not volunteering to hear your confession everyday. I'm just asking you to imagine. Can you think of a circumstance that would change your life more? Today's Gospel teaches us that kind of determination. The example of the paralytic should inspire us to find a way against all odds, asking the help of our friends if we need to, to get close enough to feel the rich mercy of Jesus. We should do this everday in our prayer, and as often as we can in sacramental confession. We have to get where Jesus is, not be comfortable that he is simply out there somewhere. Jesus makes all things new. No other change of circumstance than finding a way to be next to Him can provide as much substantial and enduring change in your life. You think the Devil is going to throw a thousand obstacles in your way to keep you from keeping your Lenten promise to give up chocolate? The Devil has already won if he has us wishing upon stars that we will be able to change a few external circumstances. He wins whenever he gets us to focus on something besides our sins. But what if we want to truly repent? Then the devil will really get busy. He will throw ten thousand more obstacles in your way if you really determine that you want to sharpen your conscience, repent deeply of your sins, strengthen your will, and be determined to remain next to Jesus. If you determine to do this, finding a way to lower yourself down through a roof will seem like a piece of cake.
For man, it is impossible to conquer sin. We are sinners, and we will be confessing our sins until the day we die. Get used to it and quit complaining about it or pretending it is not true. Yet it is when we fail to really try that we lose. Losing the battle against sin because we presume on God's mercy, because we have dulled our consciences, or because we simply wish that one day we will be different, leads to spiritual death. Jesus came to save us from this, from losing everything. But when we try, with all of our hearts and minds and strength, to love God and to love one another, then there is no shame in failure. It may not be possible for us to conquer sin, but at least we can say that sin did not kill our spirit. In the struggle against sin, we learn to trust no longer in ourselves, but in God. In our struggle against sin, we depend less and less on ourselves, and more and more upon a love that never changes, and a mercy that makes all things new.
My dear friends, make a good confession this Lent. Do not be discouraged by your weakness and the obstacles in your way. You can find a way to Jesus. Ask your friends to help you. Do not let the world kill your spirit. Never give up. +m
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