how would I spend my last kiss?

 Homily

Good Friday of the Lord's Passion

7 April 2023

St. Lawrence Catholic Center at the University of Kansas

How would I spend my last kiss?

Would I spend it here?

Would I spend it now?

I can tell for sure how I wouldn't spend my last kiss - on the kiss cam!  I hate the kiss cam. I don't got to sporting events to watch PDA.  The inventor of the kiss cam should be canceled.  I don't care if everyone else loves it.  I live in fear that some cameraman far far away would think it funny to put a priest on the kiss cam.  So whenever it comes on I make a beeline for the beer line!  It's a hard no for me.

Yet what's my yes?  How would I spend my last kiss.  Would I spend it here?  Would I spend it now.

At this juncture of the Lord's passion, the last kiss is that of Jesus.  It's a kiss of betrayal.  It's the kiss of death.  Jesus is dead, and I killed him.  That's where the story is.  That's where the story could end.

Yet what if I have one more kiss, a kiss not of betrayal, not of death, but a kiss of reconciliation.

The Good Friday liturgy is famous for its liturgical kiss.  As you approach the crucifix in just a few minutes, you get to choose what your kiss means to you.  Is it the kiss of death, or the kiss of desire for new life.  Is it where your story will end, or where your story truly begins?

For the only love that could defeat death, is a love willing to suffer and lay down its life for it's beloved.  The axis of the cross can only mean two things - it's either the final defeat of love, or the place where eternal life begins.

What if you had only one kiss left.  Would you spend it here?  Would you spend it now?

am I sensitive?

Homily

4th Sunday of Ordinary Time A1

St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center at the University of Kansas

29 January 2023  Kansas Day

AMDG

Am I sensitive?

The longer I pray with the beatitudes, the more I'm convinced happiness lies in sensitivity?  How sensitive am I?  How in touch am I with what I am seeing, tasting, feeling, smelling, hearing?  If we look at Jesus's ministry, it affected the flesh as much as the spirit, for the incarnation involves the salvation not of angels, but of persons, who are a unity of body and soul.

The happiness described in the beatitudes counters the numbness and coping that deadens the senses.  Happy are those who can feel everything, the good and the bad.  Only for such people who are sensitive, can the truth that the best is yet to come be realized, and felt.

Blessed are those who are poor, and weeping, and meek, and hungry, and repentant, and chaste, who don't have to be right, and who are unpopular, for such people are feeling things that many people avoid and hide from.  Woe to those who have things, and comfort, and status, who get away with things, who have to be right, are lustful, who use others and who are popular, for such people cannot be alive because they are insulated from the full human experience of feeling.

Only the empty, the vulnerable, the ready, the faithful can feel not only the bad, but even more importantly, the good that God has in store for those who love him.  Only the sensitive can live the truth of our faith that the best is yet to come.

Jesus came not to anesthetize the senses, but to redeem them?   Am I sensitive.  Answering the question is key to real happiness.

what's my word for the year?

Homily

2nd Sunday or Ordinary Time A

15 January 2023

St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center at the University of Kansas

AMDG

Do you have a word for the year?  Mine is aggression!

Aggression? That doesn't sound very nice or pastoral, does it? Are priests supposed to be aggressive?  Well, in light of today's Gospel, I think aggression is a great word!

I'm tired of losing my own soul and the souls of those entrusted to me.  Good enough can't be good enough anymore.  John the Baptist tells us the difference.  A baptism of repentance merely cleanses us from the outside in, so we can get along, get by and get on.  A baptism by Jesus, with the Holy Spirit, and fire, leads to transformation, and makes all things new.

What do you want in this new year, and new semester?  Ask boldly for what you want!  I want to be a real spiritual father to the KU Catholic family, a father who weeps when his children weep, and rejoices when they rejoice.  I want to accompany my kids through the ups and downs of life, showing them how much God and I believe in their ability to write the greatest stories of this generation.

John the Baptist says clearly why he exists!  He exists to baptize with water so that we can recognize the one who will baptize in the Holy Spirit and fire!  John the Baptist point to the one who takes away the sin of the world!

Jesus comes to take away sin, not the punishment due to sin.  There's a big difference!  A baptism of water might save us from damnation.  A baptism by the Holy Spirit recreates us to participate in the very life of God!  The baptism we have all received is the latter - it is not merely a washing away of our sins, it is a capacity to sin no more, and to live the fullness of love and happiness for which we are made.

What do you want in 2023?  What's your word?  I want to aggressively pursue this new kind of life, that is not just getting by or getting away or getting along with sin, but leaving it behind, and participating and cooperating aggressively in the paschal mystery of Jesus for the salvation of my own soul and for the redemption of the world!

Aggression!  It's the way to use my anger at the way things are as energy to participate in something new.  

I invite you not to settle for a baptism of repentance, a cleansing on the outside only, a reprieve from the punishment due to sin.  Let yourself dare again the baptism by the Holy Spirit and fire, so that you can aggressively go forth as a missionary disciple, participating and cooperating boldy in the reason why you exist, and go forth into a future to sin no more!

will you hold me?

Homily

Christmas 2022

St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center at the University of Kansas

25 December 2022

AMDG

What do I want for Christmas?

I invite you tonight to be bold, aggressive even, if what you dare to ask God.  Can we all agree that this Christmas is too important to approach with a tepid faith, and measured expectations?  If I don't dare faith this Christmas, when will I ever?

A couple years ago I confessed in my Christmas homily that for Christmas I wanted someone to hold me.  It didn't work.  A lot of people felt sorry for me. I got a lot of pity hugs.  .

It's still what I want for Christmas.  I think it's what we all want.  It's the first need and desire we all have, the first question from every baby that enters the world.  It's the question that perhaps makes us most human.  Most importantly, it's what Jesus wants for Christmas, as we mark the mystery of His taking on flesh just like us.  

Even if you aren't here tonight to ask boldly for what you want for Christmas, Jesus is.  He is here to dare you to answer the pivotal question of Christmas - will you hold me?

At the moment of our birth, our desire and need are the same.  So also tonight want and need are blurred in the mystery and paradox of Christmas.  Jesus disguises His desire for you as need.  He helps tonight by being helpless.  He loves you by begging your love.   And on this ridiculous night, He is just getting started.  He feeds the world by getting eaten.  He finds us by hiding from us.  He restores life by getting Himself killed.  He crushes the enemy by becoming as weak as possible - by being poor and naked, and homeless and cold and forsaken, ad nauseum unto infinity.  Jesus makes sense of our world by becoming an absolute joke on this most ridiculous of nights.

Jesus reveals His desire to save the world disguised as need in the ultimate Christmas question - will you hold me?  Yet the scene in Bethlehem only sets the stage for Jesus' most stupid move ever.  He is here to bet all of Christmas on your answer to the question, and yours alone.

Try to talk Jesus out of this absurd strategy if you can, then let me know how it goes for you.  I have no idea how my holding Jesus makes any difference. I have no idea how His begging for my touch saves the world.  Don't ask me!  Ask Him!  He is right here, and his why for this Christmas is to ask you the question as desperately as He can - will you hold me?  Feel free to ask him what difference your answer will make.

When I ask Him for myself, His answers baffle me.  He can't imagine a life without me in it.  He says He doesn't want to save the world without me.  He wants the future of the world to pivot on my faith, and my touch.  He doesn't want to know any different.  For Him, that's just the way it is.

His last hurdle on this night is to find a way to slip past my defenses, which are elite.  If Jesus were to ask me what I want for Christmas, my tepid faith conditioned by my fears, doubts and pains want to tell Him I'm fine.  I got this.  I don't need or want anything for Christmas.  I'm fine!

To reach that place where I still hide and escape and avoid, that place where I think no one can see or care or understand, and that place where I think nothing will ever change, He has to wear the best of disguises.  Which tonight He does, disguising His desire to be my savior as need, not being ashamed to beg for my love in the pivotal question of Christmas - will you hold me?

As the scene of Bethlehem gives way to this altar, and the cave where Jesus is born gives way to the place in my soul only the Eucharist can reach, I have the chance to put the Mass in Christmas, and approach the Blessed Sacrament with Jesus desperately begging my love in the question - will you hold me?

If a dare say yes with all my heart, the miracle of Christmas is new tonight, and I may even discover that I am the one being held, and the dream of what Jesus and I both want for Christmas, might really come true.

+mj

Am I afraid of the 'phog?'

Homily

Solemnity of All Saints

1 November 2022

St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center at the University of Kansas

AMDG

Am I afraid of the 'phog?'

Opponents of KU basketball are supposed to beware.  The message is clear.  The bad guys can't win here.  There is too much tradition to overcome, a culture of winning that spans generations, and a fan base that demands basketball is played at the highest level.

Beware of the phog!

The phog that we Catholics play in and pray in today goes much deeper.  The 'phog' of the Fieldhouse is a nice metaphor for the cloud of witnesses, the saints, who are urging each of us to victory.  The 'phog' which is the intercession of the saints is meant to be unstoppable, so much so that none of us can lose in the quest to become a saint, to participate fully in the eternal and ultimate victory of life over death.

Bill Self's dad famously told him that if he was afraid of losing at Kansas, he shouldn't be the head coach at Kansas.  So much so for us.  If I'm afraid of the phog, I should move aside and let someone else play for keeps.

Take courage, saints!  The victory is at hand to be had.  Each of the saints, many of them much worse off at one point than you are, prayed just like you are praying today, with access to the very same graces and mercies that are mine and yours in this Mass.  It was enough for them to do the impossible, to conquer fear with love and to pass over from death to life.  The transubstantiation of the Eucharist is enough for you too. It's enough for me to be transformed myself, into the saint I was made to be.

What am I ultimately afraid of?  I can't be afraid of my chance to truly live!  Yet in so many ways I am.  My sins show that I am not afraid of death, for I slowly and surely put myself to sleep every time I choose the fantasy of pretending to be someone I'm not.  Halloween is easy, putting on a costume to fantasize about who I could be.  All Saints day is scary!  For today I am confronted by the lives of the saints who are rooting me on to put away my excuses.  Today is a singular day for me to decide anew if I will dare to become who I really am, and embrace without excuse the wonderful and terrible responsibility that I have to become a saint.

Today is a singular day to renew my belief in the truth that the greatest tragedy is not to become a saint, and that the future of the world depends on my not being afraid of the phog.  This isn't hubris, putting myself at the center of the universe.  It's having the courage to engage the reality of who I am and what I was made for.

In the end I believer there are two fears.  I'm either more afraid of death, or life.  Pray God let is not be the latter.  Pray God let me not be afraid of the 'phog.'

+mj

Who have I quit on?

Homily

29th Sunday in Ordinary Time C

St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center at the University of Kansas

16 October 2022

AMDG

Who have I quit on?

I'll make this pivotal question multiple choice.  Who have I quit on?

a) myself

b) my family

c) my friends

d) God

e) all of the above

f) none of the above

Today's scriptures are about not giving up on anyone, for any reason whatsoever.  The reason is that there is no quit in God.  He doesn't even consider quitting on us.  Jesus is always praying to His Father for us.  He doesn't want to know any different.  So too his disciples.  We are to pray always, without ceasing, with patience and perseverance.

Who I have I quit on?  The answer lies in the ways I have stopped praying.

Firstly, don't quit on yourself.  You are made to be a master of prayer!  Yes, you!  I roll my eyes whenever my spiritual direction reminds me of this, but it's true.  You are made for a never-ending conversation with God.  So don't quit.  To quit praying is to quit on yourself, for nothing happens in life without prayer!

Have I quit on my family?  Yea, in many ways I have.  I forget so easily that every great story is a miraculous comeback story!  Look at your favorite story or movie.  I guarantee you it's a story of prayer, a story of faith.  There has to be a less than 1% chance of things working out, for the story to be compelling.  The hero has to dare faith, to attempt the impossible, or the story lags.  When the impossible happens, glory results!  It can happen in your family.  It will happen.  Believe and pray!  Don't quit.

Friendships are costly!  I have betrayed friends and let them down.  I've been beat up myself. There is such a temptation to quit, to stop praying for friendships, for it's easier to go it alone.  Don't do it!  You are made to have friends and be a friend.  Believe, and pray!

Finally, have I quit on God?  I get it that it's hard to tell if prayer is working a lot of the time.  God can seem distant and slow.  Yet Jesus reassures us that He is merely increasing capacity for something more incredible, some more, to happen sooner than we dare ask for or imagine!  Believe, and pray!

I wish I prayed like I rooted for sports.  I decided long ago to be the best fan in the world.  Without bravado, I don't think there's a greater fan of his teams than me.  I always believe.  I never quit.  There's always a way for an incredible comeback.  I never quit.  I get mad at people who do.  I've been a part of too many comebacks to lose faith, or to stop praying.  It's a big reason why I take interest!

+mj

Do I need to give thanks?

Homily

28th Sunday in Ordinary Time C2

9 October 2022

St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center at the University of Kansas

AMDG

Do I need to give thanks?

I'll never forget the time my dad showed up his priest son.  One Thanksgiving morning in Hoxie, Kansas, I confessed to my dad that I was in vacation mode, that I hadn't prepared for Mass.  Ninety minutes before Mass, I hadn't even looked at the Gospel for the day.  My dad told me on the spot without looking what the Gospel was - the 10 lepers being cleansed, with only the single Samaritan returning to give thanks to God.  I guess my dad has been going to Thanksgiving Mass a lot longer than I have.

My dad isn't particularly articulate about his faith, but he doesn't need to be.  He remembers more, and is affected by Mass more than I give him credit for.  Best of all, he walks the walk.  He never even considers missing Mass.  For him it is right and just to give thanks for the gift and responsibility of life.

There are two needs that I have that could use more attention.  There is the need to give thanks, and to give my life.  Notice that perhaps my greatest need is not to get, but to give.  The things I take for granted or hoard own me more than I own them.  I have been stuck in selfish mode more than once in my life, obsessed with what I don't have rather than responding with gratitude and generosity for what I do have.

The Mass is the ultimate thanksgiving.  It is the ultimate place to get more by giving thanks and giving our lives to God.  Eucharist means thanksgiving.  Is it any wonder that if my greatest need is to give thanks and my life, that the largest crowds in human history have been gathered by the Mass.  I've been blessed to have been a part of those crowds.

Mind you, nothing of my worship adds anything to God.  Yet, it brings me life by opening me to the truth that all is gift, all is grace, and my best freedom is to respond generously to said grace.  Worship brings me into right relationship with the source of all grace, and to the part I'm invited to play in the great battle for life everlasting.  

So let us give thanks to the Lord our God.  It is right and just!

Do I need to give thanks?  You bet I do, more and more!

Jesus calls out the nine who get what they need, take it for granted, and go back to their own way.  That sounds about right.  Ninety percent of the time I come not to truly worship, but to check a box before going back to my thing.  The Samaritan leper, and Naaman the Syrian, shame me as foreigners who worship better than I do.

Worship is right and just.  It's proper to our nature; it's what saves and heals more than anything.  May I resist an atheistic world view that takes life as a given, as only what I make of it.  The problem is that I didn't make the world.  I certainly didn't make myself.  Atheism by its incompleteness backfires where worship succeeds.

My dad still teaches me that life is about grace and responsibility.

For that, I want to give more thanks!