what do I want?

Homily

17th Sunday in Ordinary Time AII

St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center at the University of Kansas

26 July 2020

AMDG +JMJ +m

What do I want?

This question is the best.  It cuts to the heart of what it means to live.  I pray that I am more excited everyday to answer this question.

What do I want?

God loves to ask us this question!  He asked Solomon.  Jesus too asks over and over in the Gospels - what do you want?  What are you looking for?  What is your pearl?  What is your treasure?

I'm 46 years old.  I don't know what I want.  

When I was a kid I wanted to be like Mike - Michael Jordan that is.

When I went to seminary I wanted to be like John Paul II.

Now I'm less sure what I want.

If I could play baseball like Adalberto Mondesi for the Royals,

I might trade in my priesthood.

I know that's terrible - I wouldn't do it,

but as you can tell, I'd think about it.

What do I want?

I think I want to compete for what matters to God,

because I love Him and I want to love Him more.

but I'm not convinced or completely convicted with my answer.  

And I think that's ok, 

as long as I am excited to let God ask me the question.

I don't know is a good answer, 

as long as you are fully engaging the question.

The question is less of a test,

and more of an invitation to explore the meaning of life.

For the most engaging questions are those we don't have the answers to yet.

Don't get me wrong.

There's lots of right answers out there.

What do I want?

The Scriptures are chock full of right answers.

Solomon wants a discerning heart so that wealth and power will not destroy him.  Great answer.

Jesus, greater than Solomon, suggests we ask for the Holy Spirit, a package deal that includes Wisdom and 6 other gifts!

St. Paul says the Holy Spirit will reveal the wisdom of God is the cross, and that our happiness is in our predestination to be conformed that that image.

He also says faith, hope and love endure - if we get three wishes.

The pearl and the treasure are the kingdom of God, not the kingdom of me.

The saints have right answers too.

John Paul wants to be totally Mary's.

St. Therese wants to be love in the heart of the Church.

Mother Theresa wants to thirst.

St. Thomas Aquinas - I want nothing but you Lord.

St. Faustina wants divine mercy.

What does Jesus want? Might be a good idea to check his answer - The Father's will.

What do I want?

There are lots of right answers to choose from.

But today I want to challenge myself, and you if you accept,

not to steal the right answer from somebody else.  

The biggest mistake I can make,

is to answer too soon,

or be so afraid of failing the test,

that I cheat and steal the answer from someone else.

What do I want?

Whatever my answer is, I have to make that answer totally mine.

I have to own it, and improve upon that answer every day.

God is asking me because He wants to make a particular gift to me.

I pray He never stops asking,

and that I never stop trying to answer.

what happens next?

Homily

16th Sunday in Ordinary Time A

St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center at the University of Kansas

19 July 2020

Do I know what's gonna happen next?

Yet bet I do.

Nobody has greater insight into sports than me.

I feel like I always know what's gonna happen.

It's like I have a crystal ball.

Which makes it so frustrating, 

that when I bet on sports,

I usually lose.

Still I know I'm right.

I still think I can manage the Royals better than Ned Yost did.

He is the weed.

I am the wheat.

Never mind that the dummy won the World Series.  

Do I know how COVID will play out? 

Of course you can trust me.  I got this.  I've been paying attention.

A bunch more people will get the virus no matter what.

The death rate will be lower than many other evils that we have learned to live with or ignore.

Fear will win out, and the ultimate cost of the cure - quarantining healthy people - 

will be worse than the disease.

Take it from me - I know.

Except that I don't.

Today's parable forces me to say I don't know.

I need to say it more often.

For when I rush to judgment,

the parable of the weeds and the wheat shows that I do great damage.

Rash judgment is bad - and there's too much of it!  It takes the modern forms of fake news, liar's politics and the cancel culture.  

I am wrong about many things if not most.

You are too.

Why is it so hard to admit that?

Judgment is for the angels, not for us.

The parable nails it.

Still I'm called to be a prophet.

There's a word I must speak into the world,

and woe to me if I don't say it.

But it's not a word of prediction and judgment.

I don't know who's right, who's wrong

and how to predict the future.  

I stink at those things.

But I can learn history.

I can try to think deeply about the times we're in.

I can listen to somebody not like me,

That enemy whom I am sure is a weed,

but knows something I need to learn.

Most of all, I can prepare to see

the ways our sneaky and surprising God

is planting mustard seeds,

and sprinkling new leaven into the dough.

I can't predict the rapture,

but I'm sure it won't be late.

But being a prophet is less about guessing what happens next -

who's right, who's wrong,

who will win, who will lose,

Being a prophet is more about the apocalypse

of seeing the little things everyone else misses.

My my prophecy be less about prediction,

and more about preparation.

I don't know how things will end.

But do I know what happens next?

Of course I do.

This time you can believe me.

I am excited for how the kingdom of God,

is about to be born anew in you.

 

am I boring?

Homily

15th Sunday in Ordinary Time

St. Lawrence Catholic Campus Center at the University of Kansas

15 July 2020

AMDG +JMJ +m

Have I become boring?  I think so.

The pandemic has backfired for me, as it may have for you.  These strange times are an invitation to think more deeply, to read more, and to pray.  I've gone in the opposite direction.

Over the last year two friends of mine have read War and Peace, The Count of Monte Cristo, and Les Miserables.  They invited me to join them.  I've started all three.  I've finished none.

We make time for what we love.  Do I still love to learn?  Do I love engaging the great questions and stories of the human heart?

Nah, I think I've become boring.  I prefer being distracted and entertained.  My excuses have won out - I'm busy.  Things are complicated.  2020 has been a  bear.

But today's Scriptures are motivating.  They make me want to try again.  To recover that zeal for learning.

The one whose life bears great fruit is the one who can contemplate the meaning of life.  It's the one who never settles for biased headlines, cheap shots, instant reactions, fake news and childish politics.

It's rather the one who has a zeal for knowing history, and the great thoughts and stories of the human heart.  Who knows that the great challenges of every generation must be answered by those willing to engage life's great questions.

To speak the word the world most needs to hear at this moment is not for the faint of heart.  Today's Scriptures speak of patience and perseverance on the path of learning.  Only those willing to engage in a long struggle to answer the questions of today will become like God.

2020 has caught me off guard.  In times of crisis, I am not to panic, but to respond with prayer, meditation, and a zeal for learning.  I think I've gone the wrong way.

The future instead belongs to those who can cut through the noise through prayer, meditation and learning.